Jokes

Peter Kay in funny John Smiths advert

I saw this on TV the other day and thought it was really funny…

Snail joke

I had a racing snail that never won a race, so I removed his shell to make him more aerodynamic…

…it just made him more sluggish though!

Snowman joke

I’m making a horror film where a sadistic snowman sets death traps for other snowmen and they have to melt bits of themselves to escape.

It’s called “Thaw”.

Golf joke

Golf… the only time it’s acceptable for a man to hold an iron!

Coconut shampoo

I don’t know why I just bought some new coconut shampoo…

I haven’t even got any coconuts.

Rick Astley joke

Rick Astley asked me if he could borrow my collection of Pixar films.

“Okay,” I said. “You can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo, but I’m never gonna give you Up.”

Bizkit the Sleep Walking Dog

Very funny… I think I’ll see what other funny clips I can come across and add them too!

Sneezing panda

The sneezing panda is such a funny clip… well worth a watch!

Sickipedia jokes web site

Not to everyone’s taste – but there are some great jokes on here! Be warned though, it’s very likely the jokes will offend!

http://sickipedia.org/


And there are, of course, lots of good joke books around… including:

Read more

Oxo joke

Had this sent through as a text the other day…

 

I was in Tesco the other day looking for Oxo cubes. I saw beef, chicken, lamb, vegetable and England!

So, I said to the shop assistant, “What is the England?”

And he replied, “It’s new out… it’s the laughing stock!”

 

Obviously a bit topical with the football, but quite funny nonetheless…