Jokes

Very funny rap video about tea

A friend showed me this video on YouTube the other day.

It’s an extract from Russell Howard’s Good News show – and it’s very funny!

It just shows how important tea is to the British public…

Russian elections joke video

I had this sent to me a while ago, but came across it whilst having a clear out of some old folders. Quite funny really…

Funny surprised kitten video

I saw this on Rude Tube the other night and thought it was hilarious!

Quick punchline jokes

laughingJust received these by email… some quick punchline jokes – and thought I’d share:

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Tom Hanks Joke

laughingMy mate just asked me if I like any of Tom Hanks’ movies.

I said “Saving Private Ryan and Forest Gump were pretty good, but I’m not really a Big fan.”

Hilarious TV advert – Aldi parrot likes it!

This has to be one of the funniest adverts I’ve seen on the TV for a long while…

Neoligisms

I had this sent through to me the other day, and thought it was quite clever how someone’s come up with these alternative definitions for every day words, or even created new ones altogether. According to Wikipedia, a neoligism is, “is a newly coined term, word or phrase, that may be in the process of entering common use, but has not yet been accepted into mainstream language.”

  1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
  2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
  6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
  7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
  8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
  9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
  10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

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Proud moment picture

I had this picture sent through to me the other day on email… and thought it was quite amusing, so I thought I’d share it here!

The caption reads, “That must be a proud moment when your far arm is mistaken for the entire body of another person”.

Understanding engineers jokes

I had this sent through to me today on the email and thought it was quite amusing… it obviously helps if you know any engineers, of course!

Understanding Engineers #1

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”

And there’s more…

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Streaker FAIL video… very funny!

This guy has absolutely no idea that there’s a door there…